We are in the hospital again in the ICU. I've mostly written on my daughter's blog the last while. If you'd like access to her blog, just email me or post a request to this.
Little E had her bone marrow transplant and everything seemed to be going just fine. We've had scares for sure, but we thought everything was fine now. We were starting to be able to take her out for little bits and our life was beginning to nomralize.
She has another very rare and strange disease. It's hemolytic anemia caused by cold agglutination and warm agglutination. Yes, she has both warm and cold which is very strange indeed. I'm thinking I'll update this blog a little more often now and fill in some of our transplant story, but we've got to pull her through this right now. As long as her little heart can keep going until they can kill off her immune response, then we're going to be okay.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Up
Have you seen the new Pixar film, "Up"? Dh and I went to see it this afternoon. My parents watched Evelyn while we went out. It was nice to go somewhere together.
I really wanted to see Up because I had heard the story and I knew its themes closely mirrored what I'm feeling right now. It made the movie strike very close to home, but I needed the time to really feel what I'm going through and the vicarious experience of the movie would do that. While Up is an uplifting show, it is not a happy one. It's the story of an old man whose wife had died. He flies his house to South America and at one point has to decide between his house - and all the memories it contains - and striking out in a new life and forging new memories.
You may know we are needing to sell our home and buy a new one. The doctors don't want us to bring LittleE home to a condo. The risk of infection is too great. I cannot tell you how my heart breaks at the deep, dark fear that maybe the very worst could happen. If it did, our home is where we have all of our memories with LittleE. We would lose that. But, as Dh has said, a new home will give her the best chance of success and not getting an infection after she comes home. Do we look back at the home with memories or look forward to new ones? In the show, his wife had died, so no new memories with her could be formed. But a new home is the best chance for LittleE going forward.
We have been approved for a loan to buy the home we're looking at even if we don't sell our condo. But it would be expensive to carry both mortgages and with the cost of the transplant on top of that ... well, that gets pricey and unsustainable. But we may have to do it if we don't sell. I admit to secretly hoping that a friend or family or friend of friend/family would buy our home because then, if, God forbid, the worst happened, we could have an understanding that we would buy the condo back from them. That's a harder deal to make with perfect strangers.
I try not to write about sad things here, but perhaps people need to know that we are human. Mostly I keep everything together and walk forth in faith. I really do believe that God wants her to pull through this just fine. But the fears sit in the back of my mind and I knew that seeing "Up" would help. I was right. Go see the show, it's wonderful. But bring a tissue if you're dealing with similar issues. (See it in 3D if you can. We didn't and regret it now.)
I really wanted to see Up because I had heard the story and I knew its themes closely mirrored what I'm feeling right now. It made the movie strike very close to home, but I needed the time to really feel what I'm going through and the vicarious experience of the movie would do that. While Up is an uplifting show, it is not a happy one. It's the story of an old man whose wife had died. He flies his house to South America and at one point has to decide between his house - and all the memories it contains - and striking out in a new life and forging new memories.
You may know we are needing to sell our home and buy a new one. The doctors don't want us to bring LittleE home to a condo. The risk of infection is too great. I cannot tell you how my heart breaks at the deep, dark fear that maybe the very worst could happen. If it did, our home is where we have all of our memories with LittleE. We would lose that. But, as Dh has said, a new home will give her the best chance of success and not getting an infection after she comes home. Do we look back at the home with memories or look forward to new ones? In the show, his wife had died, so no new memories with her could be formed. But a new home is the best chance for LittleE going forward.
We have been approved for a loan to buy the home we're looking at even if we don't sell our condo. But it would be expensive to carry both mortgages and with the cost of the transplant on top of that ... well, that gets pricey and unsustainable. But we may have to do it if we don't sell. I admit to secretly hoping that a friend or family or friend of friend/family would buy our home because then, if, God forbid, the worst happened, we could have an understanding that we would buy the condo back from them. That's a harder deal to make with perfect strangers.
I try not to write about sad things here, but perhaps people need to know that we are human. Mostly I keep everything together and walk forth in faith. I really do believe that God wants her to pull through this just fine. But the fears sit in the back of my mind and I knew that seeing "Up" would help. I was right. Go see the show, it's wonderful. But bring a tissue if you're dealing with similar issues. (See it in 3D if you can. We didn't and regret it now.)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
WE DON'T WANT MONEY
Okay, so if any of you really know me, you know that I am very financially "frugal" and rarely turn down a money making opportunity or a chance for a great discount on something. I manage our finances with great exactness. I really wouldn't often say that I don't want money. But apparently that is almost impossible for the Social Security Administration to believe.
We are applying for a program called Adoption Assistance. It is run by the state and it will guarantee that Little E will be on MedicAid for the rest of her life. This means that she will have guaranteed health coverage, and we will not go bankrupt covering her health insurance. The pre-qualification for Adoption Assistance is she has to be classified as having a disability by Social Security. Once SSA (the social security administration) doctors review her case and declare her having a disability, then we are automatically approved for the Adoption Assistance. That seems pretty simple, right? All that SSA has to do is review her file and say whether she is disabled or not. Unfortunately, our caseworker had real problems grasping this.
K, our LDSFS caseworker, had called SSA before our meeting and was told that this would be no problem. They'd attach the case to my SS number since Little E doesn't have one yet, and then get the review of her case. Our SSA caseworker, D., could not grasp this. He kept saying, "I know how to do this if the mother doesn't have a ss number." I wanted to say, "Yes, I'm glad you know how to do that. This isn't that case." Little E doesn't have a SS number because she can't get one until she has her birth certificate and they won't issue a birth certificate until all the legal stuff with the adoption is finalized. We can't finalize that until after she has been put on Adoption Assistance. D. was getting extremely frustrated. He kept saying, "Well, we can't get you any payments until she has a ss number." We know! We don't want payments!! DH and I both said several times, that we didn't want money, we just needed her to be classified as disabled. Finally K had to speak up and emphasize again that we don't want money. At that point D. leaned forward and said - I kid you not - "Do you charge Little E rent?"
"RENT??"'
"Of course not!" I said. He lowered his voice more and said, "You really should charge her rent. You'll get more money if you do."
"She's 5 months old!!!"
"That doesn't matter. If you charge her for the rent and food, you can get more money."
"WE DON'T WANT MONEY!"
He just didn't get it. It was really frustrating, but we filled out tons of paperwork and left thinking that things would get done. Wrong.
Later he called K and said that he and his supervisor both agreed that they will refuse to even work on the case until we get a social security number for her. It's just too hard to do the work without a number so they won't even try until we get a number. So K found out that the hospital will issue a temporary "non-legal document" birth certificate that says "Baby Girl" for the name. SSA said that they would accept that document and issue a number to that. Seems simple, right? Wrong of course.
That very day I spent over 5 hours on the phone with the hospital. A number of mistakes were about to be made, I had to coordinate care between many different departments, and caught that they were going to sedate Little E the next day with a drug that could be life-threatening to her. It took awhile for them to acknowledge I was right, but they finally realized it. It was a frustrating nightmare day. When Little E was in the hospital someone heard that we were adoption her and that got around and suddenly the doctors cut us off from having access to Little E's records or making health decisions for her. It was a horrible nightmare trying to get everything fixed. They had to get all kinds of documents from LDS Family Services to prove that it was okay for us to be in charge of her care. When I found out that they were going to issue a birth certificate that SSA would use to get Little E's records I saw immediately the danger. The hospital would have to change her name on her records, and that right there is a situation rife with possible mistakes. Then communicating between departments would be dreadful. And when results came back for "Baby Girl" who is going to think, "Oh, we need to call the P family"? Not only that, when I call to get information about her I'll have to go through extensive HIPPA clearance. And frankly, this is they exact type of problem that could lead to a life-threatening mistake. I cannot advocate for her and keep her from being a statistical hospital mortality if departments won't let me talk to them and they don't get information to me. I've learned to read all of her medical records and tests so I can follow up with the doctors. In fact, last week her oncologist said, "You know, I don't ever worry about missing anything with Little E because I know you'll make sure that we know everything and you'll catch anything that is wrong." I was quite happy about that.
So I saw issuing a temporary birth certificate as possibly life-threatening to Little E. DH and I discussed it and agreed we'd rather go bankrupt. DH would have to quit his job because we have to make less than $10,000/year to keep her on MedicAid, so we'd become a burden to the state. But we'd rather lose everything than risk her health. I called K and explained our perspective and she agreed. I wasn't going to risk Little E's life just to make some guy's job easier.
K really went to bat for us. She called D. many times during the week and left 3 voicemails for him. He never called back. Finally, on Friday, the head supervisor for SSA called her. He said that he had bad news. They had spent the week doing a thorough review of SSA policy and held many meetings about this case, but it just was going to be against policy to issue a social security number in the generic name "Baby Girl." I think K almost hit the roof. "We don't want to get a social security number in that name!" She said. Then he, very patiently, told her that without a social security number they couldn't give any payments. "WE DON'T WANT MONEY!" she said. (She was extremely frustrated by this point.) The supervisor said, "You don't? Oh, well then there's no problem. The doctors are already reviewing her case and you should have an answer in 60-90 days."
K explained that we have told people at SSA over and over again that we don't want money. Nobody would believe us. They guy just brushed that off and said, "Well, now that we know, everything is in place and will be fine."
It's a sad commentary on society that they can't believe we don't want to take advantage of the government dole. And an even sadder fact that people are charging their infants rent so that they can get more of my tax dollars. And a pathetic fact that social security workers encourage that. No wonder we have such a huge deficit!
But her case is in for review. Cross your fingers everyone.
We are applying for a program called Adoption Assistance. It is run by the state and it will guarantee that Little E will be on MedicAid for the rest of her life. This means that she will have guaranteed health coverage, and we will not go bankrupt covering her health insurance. The pre-qualification for Adoption Assistance is she has to be classified as having a disability by Social Security. Once SSA (the social security administration) doctors review her case and declare her having a disability, then we are automatically approved for the Adoption Assistance. That seems pretty simple, right? All that SSA has to do is review her file and say whether she is disabled or not. Unfortunately, our caseworker had real problems grasping this.
K, our LDSFS caseworker, had called SSA before our meeting and was told that this would be no problem. They'd attach the case to my SS number since Little E doesn't have one yet, and then get the review of her case. Our SSA caseworker, D., could not grasp this. He kept saying, "I know how to do this if the mother doesn't have a ss number." I wanted to say, "Yes, I'm glad you know how to do that. This isn't that case." Little E doesn't have a SS number because she can't get one until she has her birth certificate and they won't issue a birth certificate until all the legal stuff with the adoption is finalized. We can't finalize that until after she has been put on Adoption Assistance. D. was getting extremely frustrated. He kept saying, "Well, we can't get you any payments until she has a ss number." We know! We don't want payments!! DH and I both said several times, that we didn't want money, we just needed her to be classified as disabled. Finally K had to speak up and emphasize again that we don't want money. At that point D. leaned forward and said - I kid you not - "Do you charge Little E rent?"
"RENT??"'
"Of course not!" I said. He lowered his voice more and said, "You really should charge her rent. You'll get more money if you do."
"She's 5 months old!!!"
"That doesn't matter. If you charge her for the rent and food, you can get more money."
"WE DON'T WANT MONEY!"
He just didn't get it. It was really frustrating, but we filled out tons of paperwork and left thinking that things would get done. Wrong.
Later he called K and said that he and his supervisor both agreed that they will refuse to even work on the case until we get a social security number for her. It's just too hard to do the work without a number so they won't even try until we get a number. So K found out that the hospital will issue a temporary "non-legal document" birth certificate that says "Baby Girl" for the name. SSA said that they would accept that document and issue a number to that. Seems simple, right? Wrong of course.
That very day I spent over 5 hours on the phone with the hospital. A number of mistakes were about to be made, I had to coordinate care between many different departments, and caught that they were going to sedate Little E the next day with a drug that could be life-threatening to her. It took awhile for them to acknowledge I was right, but they finally realized it. It was a frustrating nightmare day. When Little E was in the hospital someone heard that we were adoption her and that got around and suddenly the doctors cut us off from having access to Little E's records or making health decisions for her. It was a horrible nightmare trying to get everything fixed. They had to get all kinds of documents from LDS Family Services to prove that it was okay for us to be in charge of her care. When I found out that they were going to issue a birth certificate that SSA would use to get Little E's records I saw immediately the danger. The hospital would have to change her name on her records, and that right there is a situation rife with possible mistakes. Then communicating between departments would be dreadful. And when results came back for "Baby Girl" who is going to think, "Oh, we need to call the P family"? Not only that, when I call to get information about her I'll have to go through extensive HIPPA clearance. And frankly, this is they exact type of problem that could lead to a life-threatening mistake. I cannot advocate for her and keep her from being a statistical hospital mortality if departments won't let me talk to them and they don't get information to me. I've learned to read all of her medical records and tests so I can follow up with the doctors. In fact, last week her oncologist said, "You know, I don't ever worry about missing anything with Little E because I know you'll make sure that we know everything and you'll catch anything that is wrong." I was quite happy about that.
So I saw issuing a temporary birth certificate as possibly life-threatening to Little E. DH and I discussed it and agreed we'd rather go bankrupt. DH would have to quit his job because we have to make less than $10,000/year to keep her on MedicAid, so we'd become a burden to the state. But we'd rather lose everything than risk her health. I called K and explained our perspective and she agreed. I wasn't going to risk Little E's life just to make some guy's job easier.
K really went to bat for us. She called D. many times during the week and left 3 voicemails for him. He never called back. Finally, on Friday, the head supervisor for SSA called her. He said that he had bad news. They had spent the week doing a thorough review of SSA policy and held many meetings about this case, but it just was going to be against policy to issue a social security number in the generic name "Baby Girl." I think K almost hit the roof. "We don't want to get a social security number in that name!" She said. Then he, very patiently, told her that without a social security number they couldn't give any payments. "WE DON'T WANT MONEY!" she said. (She was extremely frustrated by this point.) The supervisor said, "You don't? Oh, well then there's no problem. The doctors are already reviewing her case and you should have an answer in 60-90 days."
K explained that we have told people at SSA over and over again that we don't want money. Nobody would believe us. They guy just brushed that off and said, "Well, now that we know, everything is in place and will be fine."
It's a sad commentary on society that they can't believe we don't want to take advantage of the government dole. And an even sadder fact that people are charging their infants rent so that they can get more of my tax dollars. And a pathetic fact that social security workers encourage that. No wonder we have such a huge deficit!
But her case is in for review. Cross your fingers everyone.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Aargh
I'm going crazy! No sleep. A hundred medicines. Dozens of tests to keep on top of. And the adoption all going haywire at social security! I know nobody is reading this, so I can rant and don't have to make too much sense.
Cathy, a woman in my ward, had her son go through a very similar chemo treatment when that son was 4. She told me at the beginning of this that it can get very lonely. Frankly I kind of thought that was a "weak" thing to say. "Weak" isn't really the right word, but I can't find the right one. I've never been a real social person. Going to parties makes me nervous sometimes and I really don't usually like that. I think I've also been a little disdainful of friends who actually get depressed if they haven't had their "social quota" of interactions for the day. I max out pretty quickly in social interactions. But I didn't realize that this lonely isn't about human interaction really. I am lonely. Very lonely. I feel so isolated. Nobody really knows what we're going through. The only time I don't feel so alone is when she's getting her chemo and we can talk to other parents of kids going through the same stuff. www.kidneysandeyes.com had a post about this yesterday or the day before. She put it so well. Even though others care for our baby and see what we're going through. They don't *know.* And though those close to us want to help I can't figure out how to say, "I really don't even want your help if it's going to come with criticism." With DH gone for the week, I need the help. I simply can't give her all of these oral meds by myself. So I just have to endure the criticism on top of all the other battles I'm fighting.
Yeah, I caught what could have been a life-threatening mistake yesterday as I "advocated" and followed up on all of her tests and meds.
I'm exhausted. More emotionally than physically.
Cathy, a woman in my ward, had her son go through a very similar chemo treatment when that son was 4. She told me at the beginning of this that it can get very lonely. Frankly I kind of thought that was a "weak" thing to say. "Weak" isn't really the right word, but I can't find the right one. I've never been a real social person. Going to parties makes me nervous sometimes and I really don't usually like that. I think I've also been a little disdainful of friends who actually get depressed if they haven't had their "social quota" of interactions for the day. I max out pretty quickly in social interactions. But I didn't realize that this lonely isn't about human interaction really. I am lonely. Very lonely. I feel so isolated. Nobody really knows what we're going through. The only time I don't feel so alone is when she's getting her chemo and we can talk to other parents of kids going through the same stuff. www.kidneysandeyes.com had a post about this yesterday or the day before. She put it so well. Even though others care for our baby and see what we're going through. They don't *know.* And though those close to us want to help I can't figure out how to say, "I really don't even want your help if it's going to come with criticism." With DH gone for the week, I need the help. I simply can't give her all of these oral meds by myself. So I just have to endure the criticism on top of all the other battles I'm fighting.
Yeah, I caught what could have been a life-threatening mistake yesterday as I "advocated" and followed up on all of her tests and meds.
I'm exhausted. More emotionally than physically.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
HOW?
So we came home - then we were admitted to the hospital again - and now we're home again. This is going to be a long road.
I am sick. I have a terrible cold that is just miserable. I keep being told, "Take care of yourself! You won't be any good to your children if you aren't well!" But it makes me want to scream, "HOW?" How do I do that? When am I supposed to sleep? I'm up tonight waiting for home health to deliver TPA because her PICC line is clogged. I could be up until 3am! Then up at 4 and up at 8am for meds. Then DH is off to work and I've got to care for her until he gets home and we start more meds. (The meds definitley require two people.)
I have followed the blog www.kidneysandeyes.com for a long time now. The woman who writes, Julia Roberts, is amazing. I asked her a question about Little E's emotional health going through that and she not only gave a thorough answer but actually personally emailed me as well. That blew me away. A woman with that much to do, that much stress (one child has had a kidney transplant and the other is fast on her way to one - and she runs her own business), and she personally emailed me to see how I was. She made me feel so much better when her opening line was about how she hated hearing "Take care of yourself." I didn't feel as guilty for hating it. I didn't feel as incompetent for not knowing how to do it. Her question isn't "how?" it's "when?" When on earth is there a few moments for me to take care of myself? They just don't happen.
DH watched Little E for a few hours this afternoon so I could sleep, but I hurt too much to fall asleep. Everything ached and my mind must be too wound up. I just can't sleep. I've never needed it more, but it won't happen. I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night. If I'm lucky it looks like I'll get 4 tonight. (Little E is waking up. I'd better go get a bottle ready.)
I am sick. I have a terrible cold that is just miserable. I keep being told, "Take care of yourself! You won't be any good to your children if you aren't well!" But it makes me want to scream, "HOW?" How do I do that? When am I supposed to sleep? I'm up tonight waiting for home health to deliver TPA because her PICC line is clogged. I could be up until 3am! Then up at 4 and up at 8am for meds. Then DH is off to work and I've got to care for her until he gets home and we start more meds. (The meds definitley require two people.)
I have followed the blog www.kidneysandeyes.com for a long time now. The woman who writes, Julia Roberts, is amazing. I asked her a question about Little E's emotional health going through that and she not only gave a thorough answer but actually personally emailed me as well. That blew me away. A woman with that much to do, that much stress (one child has had a kidney transplant and the other is fast on her way to one - and she runs her own business), and she personally emailed me to see how I was. She made me feel so much better when her opening line was about how she hated hearing "Take care of yourself." I didn't feel as guilty for hating it. I didn't feel as incompetent for not knowing how to do it. Her question isn't "how?" it's "when?" When on earth is there a few moments for me to take care of myself? They just don't happen.
DH watched Little E for a few hours this afternoon so I could sleep, but I hurt too much to fall asleep. Everything ached and my mind must be too wound up. I just can't sleep. I've never needed it more, but it won't happen. I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night. If I'm lucky it looks like I'll get 4 tonight. (Little E is waking up. I'd better go get a bottle ready.)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Home
We're back home from the hospital. I have mixed feelings about this. I LOVE sleeping in my own bed. And it's nice to have space to stretch out. Public bathrooms are nowhere near my "favorite things" list. So being home is really nice. But it comes with a lot of responsibility. One cold could kill Little E. She has absolutely no immune system right now. We must be manic about germ control. I must change the picc line dressing which means opening her up where she is exposed all the way to her heart. And medications ... she has tons of oral medications. Getting the right med at the right amount at the right time is a full-time job. Okay, not full-time, but we spend probably over 2 hours a day on medications and 30 - 45 minutes a day on the PICC line. Not to mention the toxic diapers - we have to wear gloves and protective stuff while changing her diapers for 48 hours after chemo. I don't want that. I don't want all the pressure and the severe consequences if I do any of it wrong. I know I'll settle into a sort of routine at some point, but right now it's really stressful. I don't mean to use this blog to complain. But I need a venue right now to express my worries, stresses, and pains. I'll also record joys. But this blog will look into the heart of a momma of a sick kid. That's not always going to be a happy place. But I'll make sure to record those shining moments of joy as well. I need to focus on those too.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Second Article of Faith
I teach the mission prep class in my ward. Last week I had planned on dressing up Little E in her frilliest, cutest outfit and bringing her to class as my object lesson as we talked about the power and importance of the Restoration. Well, as she was in the ICU at Primary Children's last Sunday, that didn't happen. We're still in the hospital today, so that wasn't going to happen today either.
I drove to Orem and got a collection of photos that hang in her room and brought them to class. I had everyone look at them and asked them if she looked evil. Did she look like someone who deserved torment and torture? Could you ever respect or love someone who willingly, knowingly, and uncaringly hurt her? Well, she is not baptized and has only a 50% chance of survival. According to the entire western Christian world, if she dies unbaptized she goes to the endless torment of hell.
We quoted the second article of faith: "We believe that a man will be punished for his own sins, and not for Adam's transgression." We compared that with one of the founding pilgrim ideas that "the road to hell is paved with the skulls of unbaptized children." Which god would you worship? I would not worship or love or even speak to a god who damns little children who have only taken one breath in their lives. I would spit in that god's eye. That is a god I would hate and reject. That god has no compassion, no love, no justice. What is the point of allowing children to be born - to fill hell? Then what's the purpose of hell and heaven? That is a god who created us because he was bored one day and wanted to be worshiped because his ego was low and anyone who doesn't match his arbitrary rules must be damned and he doesn't care. Given a choice between that god and atheism where at least all enter oblivion rather than innocent children going to hell, I'd chose atheism.
But this is the power of the Restoration. That is not the Christian God according to the LDS faith. Little children are loved by God and the atonement swallows up all punishment before a child is accountable and capable of sinning. Repentance is not needed by the pure. The well do not need the physician. God loves children and in mercy and justice does not condemn them for things they didn't do. Moroni chapter 8 is very powerful. How many mothers, how many fathers over the ages have ached because their child died before baptism? How much pain and sorrow has their been in the world because this truth disappeared? How much suffering could have been avoided! This idea of baptising little children arose around the same time priests charged for baptism. Those celibate priests who would never have children of their own taught a doctrine that would drive coins to their purse because it targeted parents' love for their children. It is disgusting. No wonder Mormon in no uncertain terms damns those who invented such a disgusting doctrine.
Hallelujah for the restoration. Hallelujah for a God I can respect, love, and worship. This is a God I can trust and will follow. This is the importance of the restoration - we now know who God is. And He is Love.
I drove to Orem and got a collection of photos that hang in her room and brought them to class. I had everyone look at them and asked them if she looked evil. Did she look like someone who deserved torment and torture? Could you ever respect or love someone who willingly, knowingly, and uncaringly hurt her? Well, she is not baptized and has only a 50% chance of survival. According to the entire western Christian world, if she dies unbaptized she goes to the endless torment of hell.
We quoted the second article of faith: "We believe that a man will be punished for his own sins, and not for Adam's transgression." We compared that with one of the founding pilgrim ideas that "the road to hell is paved with the skulls of unbaptized children." Which god would you worship? I would not worship or love or even speak to a god who damns little children who have only taken one breath in their lives. I would spit in that god's eye. That is a god I would hate and reject. That god has no compassion, no love, no justice. What is the point of allowing children to be born - to fill hell? Then what's the purpose of hell and heaven? That is a god who created us because he was bored one day and wanted to be worshiped because his ego was low and anyone who doesn't match his arbitrary rules must be damned and he doesn't care. Given a choice between that god and atheism where at least all enter oblivion rather than innocent children going to hell, I'd chose atheism.
But this is the power of the Restoration. That is not the Christian God according to the LDS faith. Little children are loved by God and the atonement swallows up all punishment before a child is accountable and capable of sinning. Repentance is not needed by the pure. The well do not need the physician. God loves children and in mercy and justice does not condemn them for things they didn't do. Moroni chapter 8 is very powerful. How many mothers, how many fathers over the ages have ached because their child died before baptism? How much pain and sorrow has their been in the world because this truth disappeared? How much suffering could have been avoided! This idea of baptising little children arose around the same time priests charged for baptism. Those celibate priests who would never have children of their own taught a doctrine that would drive coins to their purse because it targeted parents' love for their children. It is disgusting. No wonder Mormon in no uncertain terms damns those who invented such a disgusting doctrine.
Hallelujah for the restoration. Hallelujah for a God I can respect, love, and worship. This is a God I can trust and will follow. This is the importance of the restoration - we now know who God is. And He is Love.
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